#Christian marriage, #Christian home, #Love, #Husband and wife

Love and marriage
Love is everything; it encompasses all other factors for success in marriage and the home

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansingb her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31“For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.”c 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

For couples to enjoy family dominion to the fullest and to succeed maritally, everything thing centers around “husband love your wife as Christ loves the Church and is able to succeed over the Church”.

And for husband to succeed over his home and wife, he must follow the  apostle Paul’s command, “husband love your wife” because it’s in love will all things be possible for them to do!

As it has always been said that marriage is not just an institution brought about by the wisdom of man or any supernatural being other than God, it’s therefore highly important for you and me to note that nothing, no ceremony can be worth compared to marriage, both in term of serving man a great purpose in life and destiny and helping him easily and comfortably fulfill the will of the Creator of the whole universe, the Creator of marriage, the living God. Since its creation, living a complete life of comfort, fruitfulness, peace, joy, and happiness have become a thing of reality for human beings, the reality which can’t be denied by any human being here on earth.

Reason Behind This Post 

But now, one baffling and boggling issue in my heart is that I have found some spiritually intelligent and knowledgeable people who tentatively asked that, “is marriage truly beyond husband love your wife“. as said by apostle to the Ephesians only because some group of marriage counselors recently said this in their marriage seminar. Truly, apostle Paul commanded us in the book of Ephesians 5: 25: “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her,” in other to let us know and understand the major important of love and what it can do between husband and wife in marriage, and to know that love is the primary tool needed by a man to wisely and effectively manage her wife in marriage.

This question came up as a result of what some people calling themselves teachers of the word, knowledgeable and expert christian marriage counselor are currently saying regarding this particular statement uttered by Apostle Paul while addressing the issue of marriage before the Ephesians. Some of these marriage counseling experts and ministers bluntly concluded in their statement, which I think it’s as a result of their sham study and research that marriage is beyond the issue of “HUSBAND LOVE YOUR WIFE” (sorry to say). I don’t need to speak further on this because I do not create this post to create room for argument in any form or to condemn anybody’s opinion, but I need to respond to this and speak the fact here as regards this particular matter in my own personal opinion, and I need to make clear the real fact about this to those who are confused, perhaps because of the way these men interpreted the statement before them.

Is Marriage Truly Beyond Husband Love Your Wife?

The question, “is marriage beyond husband ‘love’ your wife” is one of the logical question that needs to be answered logically and scripturally because it’s basically a statement of the Scripture. This is not a forensic kind of question at all. It’s an imperative statement for any man who wants to achieve his marital goal in life. It’s a kind of question that needs to be deeply understood, most especially by the couples who really want to successfully fulfill their marital duty in the home and enjoy full family dominion according to the plan of the living God.


Factually and without doubt, marriage is not truly beyond “husband love your wife”, but basically centers around it and base on it largely if they really want to succeed and their family dominion on earth. For anybody to say marriage is beyond love, I described this as a slip of tongue. Saying this is a result of sham understanding about marriage and family matter.

Note: the fact here is that as marriage is important in the life of every human being, so love is. And you and I must know that if there is no marriage, there will be nothing called family, and there will be nothing called family dominion or fulfillment of covenant of blessing of multiplications (fruitfulness) that God planned for humanity in the book of Genesis. In the same vein, once it’s agreed that marriage is inevitable for those who want to fulfill destiny and divine purpose in life—like you and me—to first come together as husband and wife, in love, to become one, as said by our Lord Jesus Christ, which cannot be possible without agreement in LOVE. Even if it’s possible for man and woman to come together as husband and wife, their success is highly questionable without love. Therefore, you and I must now know that marriage can’t never be possible without love! Is therefore any teachings to be accepted that say the issue of marriage is beyond husband love your wife? Let such teachings be proved useless and senseless! Therefore, I confidently say that marriage is not beyond this statement: “husband love your wife as Christ loves the church! And it can never be!”. Why did I say this? It’s because the role that love plays in marriage is highly incomparable to any other factors for success in marriage. The Bible says “God is love”, and this is the main reason why marriage cannot and never be beyond love because the moment love is taken out marriage it will automatically remain empty, unproductive and unsuccessful. In and upon love is everything a marriage (a family) could ever become, and without love marriage is nothing because love in marriage represents God in marriage, which means no kind of teachings about marriage can be meaningful if it’s not centered around the word “love”.  The book of Amos chapter 3: 3 says “Can two walk together, except they be agreed?” Remember here that two persons cannot walk together except they both agreed to do so, otherwise their journey will not have a successful end. And also, agreement can never occur where there is no love. Therefore, it’s as a result of the existence of love between two people with different characters that agreement arises to walk together as one.

What’s Love?

Secularly and simply, love is a feeling of strong or constant affection for a person—Merriam Webster Dictionary

But here in this context, in the concept of marriage, I personally define love as a necessary, indispensably required divine bond that exists between two different persons, two opposite sex (usually a man and a woman with different characters) in order for them to become maritally connected or wedded together by way of blending their characters and differences of any kind through or by this same word, love, in order to produce a harmonious good marital effect between them to become one forever, and hence make them one family as husband and wife for life.

Love encompasses all other vital factors for building a strong, successful marriage relationship between two married partners, which cannot and must not be treated or handled lightly by every wise partner who really wants to fulfill destiny, and who wants to enjoy family dominion to the fullest; also, it’s an anchor upon which all other factors for attaining marital success are hung, and a rope or bond to which all useful and indispensable factors to build a strong, solid marriage structure and its foundation, are firmly tied.

Who Is Love?

The Scripture says in the book of 1 John 4: 8 that Anyone who does not love does not know God, because God is love. Clearly here, the verse quoted here shows that:

God is love. And this gives us the clear understanding and view that marriage is never beyond the statement that Mr. Paul made, in his plea of love to the Ephesians and as a command that husband should love his wife as Christ has done to the church, and thereby able to give himself wholly to the Church. In the same way, the husband should love his wife in order to be able to give himself up and wholly to her in manner as Christ has done to the Church. Now, having seen the reality that the word love in marriage is not just for no reason or serving no function or purpose, but it clearly represents the living God and his presence in marriage. So tell me, how and in what way can the issue of marriage be beyond “husband love your wife?”   Whatever message or point someone might have expressing his opinion about this, I think that it will definitely not take out love from the issue.

Biblical Characteristics Of Love

But the Scripture digs it more deeper than this in its definition as seen in the book of 1 Corinthians chapter 13: 4-13:  4Love is patient, love is kind and is not jealous; love does not brag and is not arrogant, 5does not act unbecomingly; it does not seek its own, is not provoked, does not take into account a wrong suffered,6does not rejoice in unrighteousness, but rejoices with the truth; 7bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. 8Love never fails; but if there are gifts of prophecy, they will be done away; if there are tongues, they will cease; if there is knowledge, it will be done away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part; 10but when the perfect comes, the partial will be done away. 11When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things. 12For now we see in a mirror dimly, but then face to face; now I know in part, but then I will know fully just as I also have been fully known. 13But now faith, hope, love, abide these three; but the greatest of these is love.

From the above quoted Bible verses, I discovered fifteen vital characteristics of true real love and I am going to list them one after the other under here:

  1. Patience
  2. Kindness
  3. It’s not jealous
  4. Does not brag
  5. Is not arrogant
  6. Does not act unbecomingly
  7. It does not seek its own
  8. It’s not provoked
  9. It does not take to account or record a wrong suffered
  10. It does not rejoice in unrighteousness
  11. It rejoices in and with truth
  12. It bears all things
  13. It believes all things
  14. It hopes for all things
  15. It endures all things
  16. It never fails
  17. It’s not done away
  18. Love is the greatest!

Now, I hope you’ve seen very clearly the capacity and functions of love in the marriage and home, then what can someone say is greater than love? If you don’t forget I said earlier that love encompasses all other factors that help achieve success in marriage and the home, but can we now say there is anything beyond love? No, there is nothing ever greater than marriage, and whatever marriage and the home will ever be or become, rather, is fully contained and wrapped in pure love between husband and wife.


Love and marriage, both are interwoven and interdependent, and they can never be separated. Most especially, love can never be underestimated or undervalued in the issue of marriage and wife management in the home. To enjoy family dominion to the fullest and to succeed maritally, everything centers around “husband love your wife as Christ loves the Church and is able to succeed over the Church”.