#Marriage, #Choice-making, #Life partner #Choosing a life partner #Single mother, #Single married

For a lady to have a child is not a sin nor a decease, but fornication and premarital sex are a great sin before God.

At first, you are warmly welcome here. Yes, I know you would want to find out what’s this post will ever be about. I know you would want to know what do I try to say. Without wasting time, this post is basically about “marrying a lady that has had an issue, one or two children in the past,” maybe by mistake or whatever. In this post, I am going to talk about whether it it’s proper or not for a young man to choose to marry a lady that has already had a child in the past, the reason for this post. And I am going to show you what matters in a situation like this in this post.

For a lady to have a child is not a sin nor a decease, but fornication and premarital sex are a great sin before God. If there’s love, and if it’s the will of God for a man to get married to a lady who has had an issue at some time in the past, there is nothing bad in it. A lady having a child does not commit sin, but premarital sex and fornication are greatly considered a sin before God. Should therefore a lady in this state not marry? Or, should a man never attempt marrying a lady like this? No. It’s because the ways of are what no man knows! If a man sees a lady like this and loves and finds out that she’s the will of God and have no doubt in his mind over her, then he should make a move. That’s it. God knows how he does his own things. Abortion is bad, and God is against it. Finally, if you noticed a lady in this kind of situation, and you see that she’s going to give you marital peace and joy in life, then why waiting? Go ahead and make a move!   Abortion is bad! Stigmatization is also a bad thing! 

Reason Behind This Post?

This post is not created for nothing’s sake, but it’s created for one very important reason: putting an end to unnecessary, ignorant controversy. I create it purposely to throw light on the controversial point of views of some people who have been seriously arguing over the properness of young man marrying a young lady who has already, at some times in the past, had an issue (a child) maybe just by mistake or whatever, but who is not with the father of the child anymore (she has now become single married living alone), perhaps because the situation is not well or the father of her child refused to take his fatherly responsibility over the child. I met some guys in one marriage seminar recently (a group of young men) who happened to be discussing this particular matter among themselves. Some deplored the opinion that there is nothing bad in that a young man should marry a lady who happened to find herself in this particular situation while some completely disagreed and said “there is nothing so bad in that a lady like this is gotten married to by man so far she is not under the umbrella of any man”. Now, can we say should this controversy be continued or not? Therefore, it’s in the light of this that I have decided to show to the whole world my own personal opinion as regards this matter from my personal experience as a marriage counselor.  I will show you what matters that you have to understand in a situation like this when it occurs.

Is Getting Married To Lady Who Has Had An Issue A Sin?

First, is it bad that a lady has a child or is getting married to her a sin or abomination?  No, A lady having a child is not a sin, but premarital sex is what is considered a sin. And if a situation like this occurs that a lady has unwanted pregnancy along her journey to marriage by mistake or by intention, most especially, perhaps during the courting period, then there is nothing more to do by the parent than to immediately get her married to the man that gets her impregnated without delay or ceremony. But unfortunately, the case being discussed here is a bit different from this; it’s just a digress: we are talking of a situation where a lady get impregnated by somebody somewhere when she has never even gotten ready or fully prepared (when it’s not yet time for her to do this, or when she was still immature or reach a time of getting married as a woman) to get married let alone having a child, and this may be due to the environment she finds herself or because of her parent’s lack of responsibility over her as a parent, which then eventually renders her a single mother or single married, thus finding it difficult to find a man to marry because she has had a child. In this situation, can we say having a child is a sin?  As said above, this is no, but the way the child takes to come into the world I considered a sin (through premarital sex, or in other word, fornication) because this is as a result of premarital sex, which is against the will and plan of God for marriage. But when the situation is like this, should the lady never marry again…because she has had an issue by mistake in the past? No. Then why stigmatizing a lady who has had a child in some times past? This is very common in my area, where I was born. People tend to stigmatize any lady who happen to find herself in this kind of situation maybe just by mistake or intention. They say, “never in my life will I ever get married to a lady like this, a lady who has had a child in the past!”. They say this without considering finding the fact behind the lady’s situation. They don’t want to know if the lady’s situation is caused by an unfavorable circumstances or bad environment she found herself before the situation caught up with her, or maybe this happened to her due to her family situation or the parent’s pressure because some parents are to be blamed for their children’s situation, at times. But some people just don’t want the lady they want to marry to be in this kind of situation. Some young men, seeing a lady they are planning to marry in this situation, will quickly run far away without bidding her farewell. Therefore, back to the question again, is having a child in this way truly a sin? Answer me! This is capital NO! Having a child is a gift from God, but what’s is a sin is that, as said earlier, emphatically, as this could happen as a result of premarital sex or fornication, and this makes it a sin. And for the lady to have the child aborted only because it’s not yet time for her to have it is a brutal sin! What we people don’t know is that the way God programmes man’s destiny is solely known and understood to him, and he alone can explain how and why he allows some things happen to us even when we don’t plan for it. So, if a situation like this happens to a lady, God knows why it happens. And if a lady like this comes your, you must know that God knows why she comes your way. And you must know that everything happens for a reason and purpose in life, and it’s this we people don’t want know and accept in our mind in life. Let’s take for instance, our mother, Marry, the mother our Lord Jesus became pregnant while her husband, Joseph knew nothing about how this happened, but after all troubles and Joseph’s plan to divorce her, he latter understood and got her married. Though this case is different, but who can accept what Joseph accepted today? Nobody! Remember, Joseph is a man like you and me. So, getting married to a lady like this is nothing bad.

Now, Should You Ever Marry This Kind Of A Lady, And Is it Proper?

Young man, I am happy to tell you a rare, uncommon reality here. If a lady like this comes your way, first: don’t make the foolish mistake as some people have made in the past when they found themselves in this kind of situation, by running away or saying “never will I marry you because you are a single mother”. No, never say a thing like this to her. Let me ask you here, who is a perfect man?  I know that you answered, nobody? Fine! Thanks for that! As you said, nobody is perfect! And mind you, that lady might even be more perfect than you are! Yes, this is a reality some don’t seem to know and understand! This world is full of mystery, and you must understand how God works and how destiny speaks. You must understand how fate works! You must understand how to demystify mysteries. And number two: you don’t know if the lady might be your destiny helper. She might be a divine friend, your real life partner. She might even be the program of God for you and the way God wants to fulfill his divine covenant upon you. Therefore, marrying a lady like this, for me, is completely not a sin. So far having a child is not a sin or disease, but premarital sex and fornication are a sin. Though premarital sex is a sin, but can we now say because it’s a sin the lady should go and die or remain in that single married or mother state. Do you know that she, as a result of this, could enter into committing adultery (prostitution) when she sees that there is nothing for her to do to live than to begin the work of prostitution. The fact here is if you marry her, you might have peace marrying her than when marrying a lady without any issue, but who will never give peace in life. The best thing is to discover whether she is a will of God for you or not. And how can you do this? Look below here for answer?

What Should You Do Before Deciding Marrying A Lady Like This, And What Really Matters In This Situation?

Making a choice in life has to do and begin with exploration to make a discovery about the person you want to have the whole rest of your life shared with. So, how do you do this? It’s easy and very simple.  Take a deep look at it below here:

As you must know, marriage is all about two basic things after which all other things follow: love and God’s will. If you are a Christian, I am quite sure you would deeply understand what do I mean by being a Christian as regards this particular matter. Choosing a life partner is never determined by the situation the person you want to choose as your life partner is in, but by these two question: do you really naturally love her, and is she the will of God for you?  And additionally, if you are not satisfied about these two questions, you may proceed to asking yourself more necessary questions before you finally ever decide getting married to a lady who is in this kind of situation, so that you won’t end up in regret and thus blame yourself over your decision. You have to first ask yourself those two questions as said earlier for emphasis’ sake before you proceed to the other three questions that I have prepared for you here: 1) am I in love with this lady?  2) is she the will of God for me, and 3) does she have real wife materials, and 4) are we compatible?  5) am I feeling a kind of happiness whenever I see her? 6) do I have peace if I ever get her married?  After these questions are asked, then you can have your final decision made by proposing to her without wasting time. Do you ever know that having a child is not a sin or a decease but a blessing from the almighty God. It’s just that the time or the way the child came to life is improper because this is seen as a result of sinful life of fornication in the past. Therefore, LOVE MATTERS. WILL OF GOD MATTERS. PERSONAL DISCOVERY AND CONVICTION MATTERS.


This is my final judgment on this: as there is nobody without a past, so getting married to a lady in this state is not a sin or abomination at all. Having an issue is not a diaease, but abortion is what is terrible. If a lady happened to have had an issue maybe by mistake in the past, this should not prevent any man from getting her married because some people’s past is more worst than this, and they get married and have happy married life. So, if a man sees or come across a lady in this state, if he loves marrying her, then there is nothing bad doing this, so far it pleases him to make her a wife. Therefore, stop the stigmatization, and let love reign.