Are you surprised regarding this topic, or are you thinking about what’s going to be discussed regarding it, perhaps, you’ve found or seen this type of topic discussed anywhere on the internet? Yes, I am quite sure that you will be thinking and very surprised about it and even eager to find out reality about it. Do you want to know how did I come about this topic? I creatively discovered it while reading a post about the issue of double dating among today’s youths on a site where a guy has asked if it’s proper for someone to have a checklist of those he is going to get married to, so that maybe he could make a right choice when it’s right time for him to finally get married. I was thinking, perhaps, this guy has had done this (he had had a checklist of his partners, but he asked this question to know the reality about this) already before putting it to question.
In my recent findings, I discovered that this idea is found so common among women than among men. I personally have come across so many women who have come to me over this asking whether it’s proper for them to have, perhaps, up to 3-5 names of men that came their way proposing them for marriage. Do you want to know my answer to this? Just stay tuned! You will soon find my proper answer to this. But, one major thing I would like to say here is that when you find yourself in this kind of situation in your marital journey, it’s good to learn and seek for the truth about this which I am going to tell you here and tightly embrace it.
What’s A Checklist In This Context?
Checklist in this context simply means an act of listing the number of names of men that come your way if you are a woman, or the names of women that you approach if you are a man, for marriage proposal, in a separate book simply known as “partners’ checklist”, perhaps, purposely to make the right choice.
And this book may contains up to two or more than two names of partners in one checklist. Some contains two names of partners while some contains more than two, even up to ten to fifteen names of partners. This is a reality that you may find so hard or difficult to believe, but it’s a real fact. Wow, this is a very serious case! And this is so common among African countries’ youths, especially Nigeria. This is also one of the common errors I have ever found today’s youths make in the issue of choice-making. Being patient to make the right choice is very normal, but processing it in a wrong way is what’s bad.
Should You Really Have A Checklist Of Your Partners?: let’s see People’s Opinions
Someone who was recently interviewed responded (someone who is also seriously concerned about this issue) by saying, “this is a logical question that needs to be answered logically, why? It’s because if you reach out to people now to interview them (to know their opinion) about this particular matter, which I myself have done already, there will be tons of different answers from different viewpoints. This particular issue has really generated serious controversies among people for long period of time now, both on the Television and the Radio and even in many marriage seminars, and it has left room for serious doubt in the mind of many youths as to maybe the idea of having a checklist of those going to get married to before making a right choice among them is wrong. He said futher, “My personal response to this is that your answer to this reaily depends on your belief about it because during the interview that I have made with some people over this, I met some people who said there is nothing wrong in that a youth has the checklist of partners that come his or her way, so far it’s majorly for the purpose of making a right choice among them while some seriously disagreed with this opinion and said having a checklist does not guarantee making a right choice at all, but it instead worsens the situation and put the youth who is doing this in more serious confusion as to clearly know whom (the right person) to choose among the dozens of partners on the list.”
My Personal Opinion—My Answer
In this situation, the indisputable fact here regarding this issue is that if you really want to make the right choice in your life, you shouldn’t rely so much on checklist. I am not saying having a checklist is bad, but it’s not a reliable way to finding the right partner for your life. And the worst thing in having a checklist is having more than two (or three as a maximum) partners on your list: the worst part, I say again, of this issue is that there are so many youths today who I have seen having up to 10-15 partners listed on their checklist, those who believe that taking the checklist to a pastor for guidance on finding for themselves the right choice among these checklisted partners would be very easy for the pastor to do because the partners there listed are many, and if one is not the right choice, the other would be, thinking that all the fifteen on the list could not be wrong at the same time. Can you imagine this! This is sheer arrant nonsense. If you have two partners, or maximum of three on your list, this is somewhat normal. But what are you going to do with having 10-15 partners on your list? This is abnormal! This will only put you in serious confusion as to know who would be the right man or woman for your destiny.
Therefore, there is nothing bad in having a checklist for only two or maximum of three partners on your list, and not more than three, as this will make it vey easy for you to be able to easily know who your true, real and genuine life partner will be without confusion. Though, having a checklist of your partners to find out who the real father or mother of your children will be is not a bad idea at all, but having the list of more than two or three partners is what I see very abnormal in the process of choice making, I emphasized.
Three Reasons Today’s Youths Do Have A Checklist Of Their Partners
In my findings, I found out that there are so many reasons for which many of today’s youths, especially women, do prefer to have a checklist of those that are probably desiring to have the rest of their life shared with them. I found out that 75 percent of today’s women are practicing this idea while there are only 25 percent of men who are practicing this too, currently. Therefore, under here are the main and major three reasons today’s youths do practice having the checklist of those they are going to marry before making a final decision of entering into marriage with any of the partners:
- Fear of uncertainty—One of the confirmed major reasons today’s youths do decide to have a checklist of the partners they happen to plan to get married to is their unwillingness to know who among them could be their right real life partner. And as a result of this (uncertainty) critical situation that most of these youths do find themselves when they are planning to find a man to really and finally get settled and have the rest of their whole life shared with, they therefore deem it the best to make decision to have all the names of those whom they feel could eventually be their true life partner on the checklist, so that they could have due steps taking over each one of them: they do this majorly to find out real facts about each one of them before making the final decision to, perhaps, to “yes I agree or not” to the marrage proposal. From study, 85 percent of today’s youths, most of those who are found to be women are confirmed to be using this particular method most, all in the name of finding the right, real, true and genuine life partner for themselves. What a serious case is this! Choice-making is now a serious issue to be focused on and dealth seriously with in the issue of finding a real life partner.
- Doubt—This is number two serious reason for which some youths today do have checklist of their partners. This is a child to uncertainty. Most of these youths are into this common system of finding the right life partner for themselves as a result of doubt as to whether doing it will perfectly put an end to their doubt. I have done my research deeply regarding this and found out that 15 percent of today’s young men are doing this just because of the serious doubting state they do find themselves when looking for the real life partner. So many of them do have this belief that, perhaps, if they should try and have, at least, two to five partners’ names on their list, they would arrive at getting the right answer to their doubt-generated questions over how to the right choice, but it’s so unfortunate that many of them do eventually and ignorantly get themselves landed on sorrowful and regretful ground in the end of everything.
- Prayer—This is number three major reason today’s youths prefer having a checklist of their partners. They do this purposely to conduct prayers over those partners found listed on their checklist in order to make sure that the genuine life partner is confirmed before making final decision in taking step into marriage with that partner. But, the worst part of the story is just that many of these youths usually do this in wrong order. How? Many of them are found to be listing too many names than normal, and thereby putting themselves in serious confusion as to easily know/find the true partner who will eventually be the right choice for them. Yes, I have seen and witnessed so many a young women who went to conduct prayer to ask God about who will be the right choice among the listed partners from the checklist that contained up to 5 to 10 names on it. If you don’t believe me, I want you to know that I am telling you the truth here, even many of them are having more than 10 names on their checklist just for the sake of finding the right life partner for themselves. What a great mistake is this!
Should The Issue OF Choice-making Be This Difficult?
This is capital NO! But, the difficulty over this particular issue is discovered to be arising as a result of today’s youths’ unwillingness to sit down and learn how to have the basic true knowledge (Choice-making know-how) of what it takes/costs one to be successful in choosing a right life partner that will help one’s destiny. Every youth must understand that entering into marriage is not a child’s play or just the issue of having a thousand of number of partners’ names on the checklist, no. But, it’s all about having the real, true basic knowledge of how to make the right choice. I have even found out that there are so many cheap books, both spiritual and non-spiritual, on choice-making, both online and offline, written by many well-known authors that I see could be of great help for any youth that is serious over his or her marital life. This is a fact that what you don’t know will always be your master, but once you know it you automatically become master over it. Therefore, you, as a youth, if you want to succeed in choosing a life partner (maritally), then learn the “basic know-how”
As choice-making or finding a life partner is inevitable in yours and mine journey to marriage, so every youth must therefore endeavour to have a deep proper basic knowledge on how to making the right choice, in order to avoid regret and confusion in the end of their life. Checklist is fine, but having too many names of partners on it is what I considered as bad. Only two names are normal for a youth to have on every good checklist, and maximum of three. Anything more than this is abnormal, and it has a great tendency to engender confusion in choosing the right life partner, which could lead to a deep regret in life.