Marriage relationship needs married couples’ in-depth understanding for marriage to be crisis-free. Should they at all fight over cell phone? But this does happen! Why and what’s the cause?
Yeah, we are here! I have been coming across questions about marriage, but this one is something—Bigger! Bigger! and Bigger! This is one of the most highly controversial, trending and hot questions found continuously asked among youths, and most especially, the newly married young couples. This question is confirmed to be coming from 75% of today’s about-to-marry youths while the remaining 25% are coming from the newly young married couples who seemed to be so fresh and new to the issue of “building a healthy marriage relationship”
Note: Perhaps you don’t know, this site is for discussing “how to build a very healthy relationship, marriage and family”. I am not just crafting this post just for the sake of having something posted online, for the world to know or for gaining unnecessary online presence, but I am crafting it to bring insight and joy into the already broken and about-to-be-broken families. Therefore, I am going to deal with this title profoundly to bring clarity to the minds of readers like you. Don’t let this sound somehow to you, for I have reasons for my words here.
This title may seem trivial, meaningless or sound so funny to you, but research has vividly revealed that it has brought so many marriages to a sudden unwanted abrupt sorrowful end.
First, let me ask you these questions? what do you think could cause this? Why should married partners allow this to happen in their marriage relationship? Do you support this? If you support this, then feel free to send me reasons on my contact page.
Warning: If you don’t have genuine reasons, please don’t bother yourself sending because I am going to have it added and posted for the world to see instantly.
Okay, Seeing this title, I know for sure that some people would be eager to see what is going to be said about this! Don’t worry! Put your mind at rest! I am going to discuss—it in a way that will engage your mind and spirit—some important reasons I seriousely vote against this particular idea of married partners denying access to each other’s cell phone. But, before going to that, please, read this short story of a couple:
Short Story About A Couple
It’s all about a married couple who have been married for three and half years, but suddenly, something terrible happened, which brought their marriage journey to a sudden sorrowful unwanted abrupt end. The wife (Angie) would pick up her husband’s (Dooddy) cell phone in his absence whenever he had a call or message. But, Dooddy disliked this habit so much that he had her wife warned over this, time without number until one day when Dooddy (husband) was in the bathroom taking his bath, with his face lathered and frowned, he rushed out with furry, and said to his wife, Angie:
- Dooddy: “Why did you pick up my cell phone? Haven’t I told you to never touch my cell phone, let alone picking it up anytime it’s ringing, or I have a call”, he said in anger.
- Angie: “Eh, what did I heard you say just now, Dooddy?” She replied by asking him with anger.
- Dooddy: “You heard me well! Yes, I mean what I said! I asked you why did you pick up my cell phone while it was ringing? I told you to not touch my cell phone anytime I have a call! That’s my policy! That’s what I want in my home!” He replied furiously.
- Angie: “Your home or our home? Is this how you want to build your home? Is this how you want to treat your wife? Let me tell you, you are putting your home and your life on the line by continuing doing this!” She replied aggressively.
- Dooddy: “Yes, that’s how I want it to be in my home! You should follow my rule and policy! You should accept what l accept! You should do what I do! You should want what I want! That’s how I want it to be! He replied so furiously with attempt to beat her
- Angie: “Okay Okay! OKay! Is that what you want? Have you forgotten that I am your wife? What you have is mine, and what I have is yours. Why are behaving like this to me? That means you have something, a secret, hidden from me! Yes!” She said angrily.
- Angie: “Today will be the end of this, and I will fight this out with you. I won’t take it anymore”, she spoke further in anger and determination to get the situation tweaked.
Now, have you seen the story above? Do you see what happened between the couple? Yes this is what is happening among many married couples today. Should this be happening? I think not so! Marriage is for oneness, and It’s true that couples should be having things in common, as Angie said!
Unwanted Separation Ends The Story
That is not the end of the story! Unfortunately for Angie, do you know that where she was trying to fight it out with her husband just to get the situation tweaked between him and herself, separation ensued without resolution.
As seen above, many things are happening among couples today that are counted as minor/trivial, but which has great detrimental, adverse effects on their marriage.
That story shows that Angie (wife) knows what marriage means in her words, but Dooddy (husband) thinks he is wise, whereas is a complete fool, who knows nothing about marriage and home at all. Ignorance is a great enemy to marital success; it’s a poison in marriage. Be careful!
Should Married Couple Ever Live Like Dooddy And Angie?
This is capital NO! Only an ignorant couple would say ‘yes’ to this! Of course, marriage is for unity and oneness between man and woman, but not for differences of any sort. So, a good understanding couple will have everything done in common and oneness. They will base their life on the word ‘two becomes one‘. Their love language will base on: What is mine is yours and what is yours is mine; and everything that belongs to me belongs to you; and my life is your life—meaning they won’t give any space for differences of any kind: Their marriage will thrive in love and understanding. This is what a good marriage implies. You must understand that Devil uses trivia things/issues to destroy great relationship if couples are careless.
What’s The Cause?
Now, what’s the major cause of this attitude among so-called well-educated couples, who know the meaning of marriage—especially the Christian’s—and what it involves to be a success. Let’s see some of the causes of this rude and primitive behavior under here:
- Ignorance—Don’t be ignorant! Marriage is not for baby or small boy and girl, who know nothing about marriage. We are in the world where knowledge is required to succeed in life. And, this is why marriage counseling is greatly recommended for everybody who wants to have success in marriage. From the above story, Dooddy failed over his family because of ignorance, claiming his right authoritarianly without regard to his wife and his marriage honour
- Lack of love—Love, number one key to marital success. It’s the anchor upon which all other factors for happiness on marriage hung. Dooddy forgot that marriage is for oneness which can never be achieved without love, understanding and unity between a couple. When, in Christian marriage (you may not understand this if you are not a Christian), we say two becomes one, what does this mean? How can this be possible? These are the questions you need to ask yourself in your marriage. A good marriage is built on love from foundation up to the structure built on it. When there is no love between husband and wife, such a problem of couple denying themselves access to each other’s cell phone will definitely occur.
- Unfaithfulness and Dishonesty—Unfaithfulness and dishonesty, the heart of good and healthy relationship. When a marriage lacks these two things, the journey of the marriage won’t long and last. The lack of these two things in marriage short-circuits marriage lifespan. This is the major cause of the problem between the two characters of the story narrated above. Dooddy is not honest to his wife, Angie.
- Lack of unity—Unity makes marriage so interesting; it’s a result of understanding between couple. When this is present between a couple, marital differences that may come in any form will have no place at all. It’s true that in unity we stand, divided we fall. For a marriage to stand and last, unity must have its place between couple. Dooddy lacked unity with his wife in the above story, while the wife tried to bring situation back to normal, but the ignorant husband turned it down, thereby led to divorce.
Marriage is for the wise and mature; it’s for those who are willing to be committed to each other; it’s for the wise. Couples should understand and learn that for marriage to be successful, it will take them to know and adopt some vital facts that: marriage should be void of any kind reckless behavior and policy that seems unwholesome and detrimental to the health of their marriage.
Ignorance is a great enemy to marital success; it’s a poison in marriage relationship!