Scripture: Proverbs 15: 22
Where no wise guidance is, the people falleth: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. (ERV)
Please, don’t snob, neglect or underrate counseling, for it’s power to your marriage! This is for those who need good success in their marriage from start to the end.
To get marry is one of the best and great decision a man can make in life, but to succeed in marriage is one of the man’s greatest pursuits and hard things in life. But fortunately for us, proper and effective counseling can definitely earn us a “100% success” in it! You say, “wow! Incredible?” No, it’s credible! Yes, you can have 100% success in marriage if you do the right thing you are supposed to do before entering into it.
Today’s Youths’ Major Error: Disinclination To Counselling
In the previous post titled, ‘marriage: a vital component of human being’s life’, I made it clear that marriage plays vital roles in our life and makes it complete (it’s complementary to our dear life and destiny)—it’s a vital component of human destiny. But today, something is clear. What’s it? It’s obvious that hardly you will see today’s youths going for marriage counseling anymore; they’ve totally declined from it. Why? The one clear reason is that most of them are completely ignorant of the role counseling plays in marriage: it plays a great roll in making marriage a success. But it’s unfortunate that only view of them know its importance. This I see as one of the major and common costly errors today’s youths are making. The fact here is that for a marriage to really be successful, and for you to be successful maritally, strong heeding, inclination to counseling is required of you. Why? It’s because in the multitude of counseling purposes and plans are established. And I know that marriage is one of the major purposes that almost everybody is pursuing, including you! Therefore, as a youth who greatly desires success in marriage, you have to consider going for counseling before ever entering fully into marriage.
Marriage一A Divine Purpose
Marriage is a divine purpose and plan. Any success-aspiring partners needs effective, success-producing advice before entering into it. Before it can be established and become a good success, partners must be fully counseled ahead. Neglect of counseling is a great way leading to tragedy in marriage, and once you failed to take or incline yourself to it at the beginning of your marital journey, then you put your success in marriage on the line. You can disagree with me over this, but all I know is that my words are from experience and based on fact and not on fiction or imagination.
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Though, I don’t really need to define this for you because I know you are even more knowledgeable regarding this than I am; however, for the purpose of clarity, I would like to give it a brief definition under here.
Definition: Literally, the word counseling is an advice, a support that is given to people to help them deal with problems, make important decisions, etc.(Merriam Webster).
But, the word marriage counseling (compound noun) is simply a marital term formed in the context of marriage, which means the act of giving marital advice and support necessary, by someone called marriage counselor, to people (most especially courting partners) who are truly ready and are preparing for marriage.
How Can It Be Conducted And How Long Must It Take?
In brief, this counseling can be done, maybe, just for three weeks or a month, as the time permits the counselor and the partners themselves. Even if it’s in religious way, it can include fasting and prayers for divine intervention and guidance for successful and effective counseling. It’s done chiefly and basically to fill their mind with facts regarding what marriage really means and involves, what marital challenges (problems) are, and how can the challenges be successfully and wisely handled and dealt with and successfully managed. And also, it’s done to get the partners’ mind prepared against the marital challenges [winds] which are sure to rise against their marriage. Yes! Challenges and winds of life are 100% sure to rise, but with solid foundation which starts from good marriage counseling, they will surely be overcome.
5 Reasons For Marriage Counseling
Under here are five major reasons for marriage counseling listed and explained one after the other:
Counseling is mostly conducted to:
- Give advice—Number one reason for conducting marriage counseling for courting partners is to give them effective, proper advice they need to succeed maritally. Counselor is in the right position to give the right advisory information on what’s best to know, do and understand during the partners courting period and when they are fully wedded in case of any challenges which are sure to come up against their marriage.
- Give Informational support—Counseling is also one of the best ways to help courting partners have blueprint and clear view of where they are really going by sharing with them vital supporting information—from experience and wisdom—regarding marriage and how they can successfully cope in their challenges.
- Prepare—Good counselors use or see counseling as a way to get partners’ mind prepared for or against marital challenges that are sure to rise against their marriage. During this counseling period, partners are always informed by counselor of the fact that though marriage is beautiful but it’s a great adventure, and that they can’t escape marital challenges/winds. And, counselor will let them know the reason for telling them those facts, which is just to get them prepared, so that when these challenges come, they won’t have any occasion to fear, for they’ve been informed ahead of time. And, he will also let them know that they can only overcome the challenges in unity and pure, unfeigned love.
- Give encouragement—Another reason for counseling is encouragement. As these courting partners are very new, young and inexperienced to this journey, they need encouragement for the new adventurous journey they both want to embark upon. Counselor will therefore let them know the fact by telling them that marriage is not for small boys and girls, but for mature man and woman who know what life means and who are ready to be committed to each other to bear each other’s burden. This time, he makes it certain to them reason for not to fear but to be bold in facing their future in faith, pure love, and understanding, e.t.c.
- Impart confidence—This is another major reason counseling is greatly needed. This time, having done it all, the counselor will let them know that they need much confidence in the journey to be able to overcome marital challenges/winds and human/demonic enemies that will surely rise against their marriage. As said earlier, because they are new and inexperienced to this journey, and because windy rain (unfavourable situation will surely come up against their marriage) will surely come up to beat against their marriage foundation, counselor will because of this try to impart confidence in them by letting them know that some people had once found themselves in such a windy/challenging marital situation and they overcame when it came, and that thus, they too will surely overcome simply by heeding to and applying all those words they have heard during counseling.
Though, I have seen some youths saying there is nothing in marriage counseling, but I describe these youths as ignorant who knows nothing about marriage because counseling has been confirmed to have helped many successful married couples have great testimony over their marriage. Therefore, it will be very bad for you as a youth to snob or neglect this fact about counseling. Counseling does much in marriage for those who want and take it. Remember, in the multitude of counseling plans and purposes are established [successful]. So for your marriage purpose to be established and become a thing of reality, you must incline to healthy marriage counseling.