Scripture: Proverbs 15: 22
Where no wise guidance is, the people falleth: but in the multitude of counsellors there is safety. (ERV)
Bring your marriage to safety!
Please, don’t snob, neglect or underrate counseling; for it’s power to your marriage! This is for youths and courting partners generally, which need good success in their marriage from the beginning to the end. Watch out for counseling for married couples and many more.
In the previous post titled, ‘marriage: a vital component of human being’s life‘, I made it clear that marriage plays vital roles in our life and makes it complete (it’s complementary)—it’s a vital component of human destiny. But, today, something is clear. What’s it? It’s obvious that hardly you will see today’s youths going for marriage counseling anymore—they’ve totally declined from it. Why? The one clear reason is that most of them are bluntly ignorant of the fact that the role counseling plays in marriage is great, incomparable and immeasurable while some of them just consider it very less important: This I see as one of the major and common costly errors seen today’s youths committing. The fact here is that for a marriage to really be successful and for you as a marriage partner (youth) to be successful maritaly, strong heeding inclination to counseling is required. Why? It’s because in the multitude of counsels purposes and plans are established. Marriage, as a divine purpose and plan, needs strong and productive informational support/advice for it to be firmly established and become a reality and a good success. Neglect of counseling is a great tragedy to marriage, and once you failed to take or incline yourself to it at the beginning of your marital journey, then you put your success in marriage on the line. You can disagree with me over this, but, all I know is that my words are from experience and based on fact and not on fiction or imagination.
What Is Marriage Counseling?
Though, I don’t really need to define this for you because I know you are even more knowledgeable on this than I am, but, however, for the purpose of clarity, I would like to give it a brief definition under here:
Literally, the word counseling is advice and support that is given to people to help them deal with problems, make important decisions, etc.(Merriam Webster).
But, the word ‘marriage counseling’ is simply a marital term formed in the context of marriage, which means the act of giving marital advice and support necessary, by someone called marriage counselor, to any courting partners or youths who are truly ready and are preparing for marriage.
How Can It Be Conducted?
In brief, this counseling can be done, maybe, just for three weeks or more, as the time permits the counselor and the partners themselves. Even if it’s in religious way, it can include fasting and prayers for divine intervention and guidance for successful marital journey. It’s done majorly just to fill their (partners) mind with facts regarding what marriage is and involves and what marital challenges (problems) are, and how it can be successfully and wisely handled/dealt with and managed. And also, it’s done to get their (partners) mind prepared against these marital challenges/winds which are sure to rise against their marriage—yes! Challenges and winds of life are 100% sure to rise, but with solid foundation which starts from good marriage counseling, they will surely be overcome.
5 Reasons Explained
Under here four major reasons for marriage counseling:
Counseling is mostly conducted:
- To advice—Number one reason for conducting counseling for courting partners is ‘advice’. Counselor is in the right position to give the right opinion/information on what’s best to know and do during their courting period and when they are fully wedded (; that is, in case/the event of any challenges ).
- To support—Counseling is also one of the best ways to help courting partners have blueprint and clear view of where they are really going by sharing with them vital information and realities—from experience and wisdom—regarding marriage and how they can successfully cope with their marital life.
- To prepare—Good counselors use or see counseling as a way to get partners’ mind prepared for or against marital challenges that are sure to rise against their marriage. During this counseling period, partners are always informed by counselor of the fact that though marriage is beautiful, but it’s a great adventure, and that they can’t escape marital challenges/winds. And, counselor will let them know the reason for telling those facts about, which is just to get them prepared, so that when these challenges come, they won’t have occasion to fear, for they’ve been informed ahead of time. And, he will also let them know that they can only overcome the challenges in unity and pure, unfeigned love.
- To encourage—Another reason for counseling is encouragement. As these courting partners are very new, young and inexperienced to this journey, they need encouragement for the new adventurous journey they both want/decide to embark upon. Counselor will let them know the fact by telling them that marriage is not for small boys and girls, but for mature man and woman who know what life means and who are ready to be committed to each other to bear each other’s burden. This time, he makes it certain to them reason for not to fear, but to be bold in facing their future in faith, pure love, understanding, e.t.c.
- To impart confidence—This is another major reason counseling is greatly needed. This time, having done it all, the counselor will let them know that they need much confidence in the journey to be able to overcome marital challenges/winds and human enemies, and to really forge ahead in the journey with success. As said earlier, because they are new and inexperienced to this journey, and that because challenging and windy situation will surely come to beat against their marriage foundation, counselor will try to impart confidence in them by letting them know that some have once being like them and they were successful, and thus, they too will surely be successful by heeding to and applying all those words they have heard during counseling.
Though, I have seen some youths saying there is nothing in marriage counseling, but I describe these youths as ignorant who knows nothing about marriage because counseling has been confirmed to have helped many successful married couples have great testimony over their marriage. Therefore, it will be very bad for you as a youth to snob or neglect this fact about counseling. Counseling does much in marriage for those who want and take it. Remember, in the multitude of counsel the plan and purpose is established.
This post is mainly for youths and courting partners generally, who desire good success in their marriage from the beginning to the end.